Bullies

Witnessed an episode at the pool today. Little girl we know was being harassed by another girl. The little girl we know was standing up for herself, quite well.

But the situation was escalating. I stood up to move a chair so I could see Joshi better, and in the process, realized the situation looked like maybe it needed to be...helped along. Our friends mom came up and called her girl out of the pool, great parenting, while the other child continued to throw threatening comments and anger, but now towards the friends of the girl who got pulled from the pool. My kids.

My kids shook their heads and swam away and continued playing and I realized what was happening. She is a bully.

My friend, the mom of the other little girl, told me this had been going on at school, and she had encouraged other girls to do the same.

This brought back memories. Memories of my junior high experience. It was really awful. I had a friend, we were close, I upset her, she hated me, and turned a bunch of people against me.

One girl threatened to hurt me, and said I had better run home everyday after school, because if she caught me she was going to beat me up.

I beleived her.

I was terrified. My entire eighth grade year, I was terrified. I never told my parents. I was too scared.

By the time high school came along, these people had calmed, maybe they weren't even there, don't know but those problems were over. But psychologically, it was far from being over. It had created some deep emotional issues that were not easy to overcome.

Okay, here is my point. Your kids don't have to go through this. I decided when I became a mom that no matter, what my kids would not be bullied. I didn't care what I had to do, it just wouldn't happen.

I have actually had parents tell me this bullying is good. Tell me that if it doesn't happen when they are young they won't know what to do with it when they are older...hmmm, really?

I was threatened, terrorized, abused, and guess what, it didn't help me deal with it, not one bit!!! Not at all. What exactly was it supposed to teach me? Don't trust your friends? It's okay to be mean?

What I want to say to all parents is that it isn't normal, it isn't part of growing up and it doesn't have to happen. You don't have to allow your child to be abused. It should not be a part of childhood.

And finally, don't get me wrong, I am not talking about conflict. Conflict is a part of life. What I am talking about here is bullying, totally different.

Kristen