Saturday, August 23, 2008

Saturday Night

Really, really tired.

Just got home. We left our house Friday at 12p.m. It is 7:37 p.m. Saturday.

Yesterday the viewing went incredibly well. So many people came to pay their respects. Todd touched so many lives. Their boys were amazing. I was so proud of them and I know their dad would have been. The pictures were hard to look at. Still too sad for me.

Today, I missed most of the graveside time, Faith was feeling faint and nauseous.

The celebration service was perfect. The worship team honored Todd with some excellent worship time. I held it together pretty well. Except when Mike was talking about his friend.

But the hardest part of my day was coming back to the building tonight and going to Saturday night service. I felt like it was all so geared towards me. I have been so angry at God this week, at times telling Him I would never sing to him again, I felt very convicted of my attitude. God is still in control and knows what is going on. He deserves better than what I have been offering Him this week. But during worship time tonight I think I was able to sort some of this stuff out. I was able to praise God again, for who He is and for His love and power. I think maybe that is the beginning to some healing.

So now I am exhausted and I am going to go to bed.

Keep praying for Paula and the boys.



Mandy Corley said...

Wow, what a powerful post. Kristen, thank you so much for your honesty about your anger. I think sometimes we try to cover up feelings like that, but it is so refereshing to see your transparency. I'm praying for each one of you. I know I've never met her, but please give Paula a hug for me.

jennifer in tx said...

Kristen, I am so sorry for your family's loss (and for Paula and her boys).

We will keep all of you in our prayers for comfort and healing.

sandy said...

You have an amazing heart!